This is how I am feeling now…
Thank You God, thank You.
Many times I felt like
wanting to appear my best for You
But in my own human strength
I fail countless
And countless of times.
God You loved me at my best
You loved me even more at my worst.
When I turned away from You
Your hands they cradled me still
How foolish of me
To think that I can
Stand on my own
How selfish I’ve been
Coming to think that
I left You waiting
Just for me
To come back
God, to be found by You
And fall in love again
Is my ultimate
And greatest possession
A love so amazing
A love so divine
Who am I to call You master
Who am I to call You mine
Father please… Please…
won’t you come and cripple me
So that I will not keep running away
Thank You God
On this day God wants you to know that …
you are wonderfully made.
Look at the world around you,
the infinite detail and creativity.
Unimaginable beauty surrounds us every day.
You are part of that creation,
materializing from the same artist
that created sunsets and rainbows.
Don’t ever allow yourself to think
you are anything less than wonderful.
There goes another day of school. Today everyone had their very first round of mock CG. To be honest, I felt that it had been an interesting experience I have so far. Recently I have been telling God how tired I am. It feels like I’m burning out and I’m gonna give up anytime. Nevertheless, I thank God for this day. It is very rare that after school I could have such a time like this to have the whole day to myself. This whole SOT experience really have been stretching my capacity, especially for today, it had made me appreciate God’s given rest even more.
God I couldn’t thank You enough.
You know my every thought.
I use to hate myself for every unpleasant thoughts I think.
Now I come to a realization that my thoughts were manupulated
because the evil one couldn’t interfere what is in my heart.
You are a God of love and does not condemn,
I am trying to love myself a little more each day,
Because I know I can love this Jesus that is living inside of me.
Your tender mercies it overwhelmed my soul.
Like a good Father You took care of the condition of my whole being.
Your perfect love cast out every fear that resides in me.
Thou I retreat back to my shell whenever I feel all messed up and confused,
Your outstretched hands always reaches out to me,
to reassure me that You are here and all is well.
So accepting are You Lord,
So abundant is Your love that my heart could not contain.
Every time when I failed You Your love abounds even more.
What can I say, God? What can I say?
I come to You this day,
in sweet abandon,
in total surrnder.
There is nothing I can hide in Your presence.
I come to You not strong but weak and vulnerable.
God, You are a jealous Father.
Father, I am a jealous child. I love with a love that is so foolish,
but let it be a pure and geniune love that only You deserve.
God You loved me at my best,
You loved me even more at my worst.
Who am I that You are concern more about the garden of my heart than my labour?
A love so amazing, a love so divine.
Who am I to call You master?
Who am I to call You mine?
Holy Spirit You are so close to me in my heart,
My hands are small but I grip on to You tightly.
I never want to let You go.
Never let me go, never let me go…
On this day God wants you to know that …
you can’t hide your shortcomings from God.
Failures, weaknesses, and fears;
God knows them all.
Many people attempt to hide issues from God,
but it is futile.
Since yesterday I was already having so much thoughts going through my mind after reading the the article on some scientist who dug in hell in Siberia and recorded the cries of the damned souls. Listening to the recording literally gave me the chills. Despite I felt that fear tingling inside of me, deep inside I couldn’t imagine just how God handled this, what have God gone through, what have man and the bloody Satan done… All these while it has always been my desire to know God’s heart a little more, and after this thing I felt God speaking to me with such a dejected tone as He called out to me “my child, my child.” Everything just fell part after coming to a realization that everything is truly chasing after the wind. I suddenly felt such an urgency for the need to get as many people saved as possible. In the train just now I felt God telling me that He has so many things He wants to tell me, but He just can’t. My heart just break a little after feeling and imagining that heaviness that God must have had in His own heart for His people, for those lost souls that came to a point of no return. God is omnipresent, I wonder is God hovering around the pit right now looking at those souls. All these while of complaining what have I gone through in life?! God… what have You gone through, look what have we done…
On this day God wants you to know that …
Faith in yourself will see you through.
You are strong and can deal with anything
that life throws at you.
Take a deep breath and be filled with the knowledge
that you can deal with all things.
|—||Psalm 73:21-24 (via nonelikejesus)|
Break me I pray
Break me even more
Cause me to have a deeper longing
To be more vulnerable
Upon bringing myself into remembrance of Your undying love
Regardless it aches me somehow
The more I felt condemn for denying You so many times
What a wretched soul I am
Look what I’ve done
To think that I’m victimized
But who is really the One receiving all the blame and hurt
Feeling all damaged doesn’t really matter anyway
In fact I come to wonder are You hurting right now?
You are God, You are transcendence
But exhibiting a Father nature
Have You ever felt desolated and disheartened?
You held and have sustain me all these while
Everything I done can never ever repay Your kindness
God, You never really asked for much from men
What is men really?
That all You wanted was all of us
What an almighty God I serve
So infinite, yet intimate…
I lay down my life this day
With clean hands and a pure heart
Draw me, oh draw me away
Break me, cripple me
That I will not keep running away
But to run wholly after after You
To never ever wander off from Your grip again
The Anatomical And Physiological Details Of Death By Crucifixion:
By Dr. C. Truman Davis
A Physician Analyzes the Crucifixion.
From New Wine Magazine, April 1982.
Originally published in Arizona Medicine,
March 1965, Arizona Medical Association.
Crucifixion was invented by the Persians in 300 BC, and perfected by the Romans in 100 BC.
1,It is the most painful death ever invented by man and is where we get our term “excruciating.”
2,It was reserved primarily for the most vicious of male criminals.
Jesus refused the anaesthetic wine which was offered to Him by the Roman soldiers because of His promise in Matthew 26: 29, “But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.”
3,Jesus was stripped naked and His clothing divided by the Roman guards. This was in fulfilment of Psalm 22:18, “They divide My garments among them, and for My clothing they cast lots.”
4,The Crucifixion of Jesus guaranteed a horrific, slow, painful death.
Having been nailed the Cross, Jesus now had an impossible anatomical position to maintain.
5,Jesus’ knees were flexed at about 45 degrees, and He was forced to bear His weight with the muscles of His thigh, which is not an anatomical position which is possible to maintain for more than a few minutes without severe cramp in the muscles of the thigh and calf.
6,Jesus’ weight was borne on His feet, with nails driven through them.
As the strength of the muscles of Jesus’ lower limbs tired, the weight of His body had to be transferred to His wrists, His arms, and His shoulders.
7,Within a few minutes of being placed on the Cross, Jesus’ shoulders were dislocated.
Minutes later Jesus’ elbows and wrists became dislocated.
8,The result of these upper limb dislocations is that His arms were 9 inches longer than normal, as clearly shown on the Shroud.
9,In addition prophecy was fulfilled in Psalm 22:14, “I am poured out like water, and all My bones are out of joint.”
10,After Jesus’ wrists, elbows, and shoulders were dislocated, the weight of His body on his upper limbs caused traction forces on the Pectoralis Major muscles of His chest wall.
11,These traction forces caused His rib cage to be pulled upwards and outwards, in a most unnatural state. His chest wall was permanently in a position of maximal respiratory inspiration. In order to exhale, Jesus was physiologically required to force His body.
12,In order to breathe out, Jesus had to push down on the nails in His feet to raise His body, and allow His rib cage to move downwards and inwards to expire air from His lungs.
13,His lungs were in a resting position of constant maximum inspiration.
Crucifixion is a medical catastrophe.
14,The problem was that Jesus could not easily push down on the nails in His feet because the muscles of His legs, bent at 45 degrees, were extremely fatigued, in severe cramp, and in an anatomically compromised position.
15,Unlike all Hollywood movies about the Crucifixion, the victim was extremely active.
The crucified victim was physiologically forced to move up and down the cross, a distance of about 12 inches, in order to breathe.
16,The process of respiration caused excruciating pain, mixed with the absolute terror of asphyxiation.
17,As the six hours of the Crucifixion wore on, Jesus was less and less able to bear His weight on His legs, as His thigh and calf muscles became increasingly exhausted.
There was increasing dislocation of His wrists, elbows and shoulders, and further elevation of His chest wall, making His breathing more and more difficult
Within minutes of crucifixion Jesus became severely dyspnoeic (short of breath).
18,His movements up and down the Cross to breathe caused excruciating pain in His wrist, His feet, and His dislocated elbows and shoulders.
19,The movements became less frequent as Jesus became increasingly exhausted, but the terror of imminent death by asphyxiation forced Him to continue in His efforts to breathe.
20,Jesus’ lower limb muscles developed excruciating cramp from the effort of pushing down on His legs, to raise His body, so that He could breathe out, in their anatomically compromised position.
21,The pain from His two shattered median nerves in His wrists exploded with every movement.
22,Jesus was covered in blood and sweat.
23,The blood was a result of the Scourging that nearly killed Him, and the sweat as a result of His violent involuntary attempts to effort to expire air from His lungs.
Throughout all this He was completely naked, and the leaders of the Jews, the crowds, and the thieves on both sides of Him were jeering, swearing and laughing at Him.
In addition, Jesus’ own mother was watching.
24,Physiologically, Jesus’ body was undergoing a series of catastrophic and terminal events.
25,Because Jesus could not maintain adequate ventilation of His lungs, He was now in a state of hypoventilation (inadequate ventilation).
26,His blood oxygen level began to fall, and He developed Hypoxia (low blood oxygen).
In addition, because of His restricted respiratory movements, His blood carbon dioxide (CO2) level began to rise, a condition known as Hypercapnia.
27,This rising CO2 level stimulated His heart to beat faster in order to increase the delivery of oxygen, and the removal of CO2
28,The Respiratory Centre in Jesus’ brain sent urgent messages to his lungs to breathe faster, and Jesus began to pant.
29,Jesus’ physiological reflexes demanded that He took deeper breaths, and He involuntarily moved up and down the Cross much faster, despite the excruciating pain.
The agonising movements spontaneously started several times a minute, to the delight of the crowd who jeered Him, the Roman soldiers, and the Sanhedrin.
30,However, due to the nailing of Jesus to the Cross and His increasing exhaustion, He was unable to provide more oxygen to His oxygen starved body.
31,The twin forces of Hypoxia (too little oxygen) and Hypercapnia (too much CO2) caused His heart to beat faster and faster, and Jesus developed Tachycardia.
32,Jesus’ heart beat faster and faster, and His pulse rate was probably about 220 beats/ minute, the maximum normally sustainable.
33,Jesus had drunk nothing for 15 hours, since 6 pm the previous evening.
Jesus had endured a scourging which nearly killed Him.
34,He was bleeding from all over His body following the Scourging, the crown of thorns, the nails in His wrists and feet, and the lacerations following His beatings and falls.
35,Jesus was already very dehydrated, and His blood pressure fell alarmingly.
36,His blood pressure was probably about 80/50.
37,He was in First Degree Shock, with Hypovolaemia (low blood volume), Tachycardia (excessively fast Heart Rate), Tachypnoea (excessively fast Respiratory Rate), and Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating).
38,By about noon Jesus’ heart probably began to fail.
39,Jesus’ lungs probably began to fill up with Pulmonary Oedema.
40,This only served to exacerbate His breathing, which was already severely compromised.
41,Jesus was in Heart Failure and Respiratory Failure.
42,Jesus said, “I thirst” because His body was crying out for fluids.
43,Jesus was in desperate need of an intravenous infusion of blood and plasma to save His life
44,Jesus could not breathe properly and was slowly suffocating to death.
45,At this stage Jesus probably developed a Haemopericardium.
46,Plasma and blood gathered in the space around His heart, called the Pericardium.
47,This fluid around His heart caused Cardiac Tamponade (fluid around His heart, which prevented Jesus’ heart from beating properly).
48,Because of the increasing physiological demands on Jesus’ heart, and the advanced state of Haemopericardium, Jesus probably eventually sustained Cardiac Rupture. His heart literally burst. This was probably the cause of His death.
49,To slow the process of death the soldiers put a small wooden seat on the Cross, which would allow Jesus the “privilege” of bearing His weight on his sacrum.
50,The effect of this was that it could take up to nine days to die on a Cross.
51,When the Romans wanted to expedite death they would simply break the legs of the victim, causing the victim to suffocate in a matter of minutes. This was called Crucifragrum.
52,At three o’clock in the afternoon Jesus said, “Tetelastai,” meaning, “It is finished.”
At that moment, He gave up His Spirit, and He died.
53,When the soldiers came to Jesus to break His legs, He was already dead. Not a bone of His body was broken, in fulfilment of prophecy (above).
54,Jesus died after six hours of the most excruciating and terrifying torture ever invented.
55,Jesus died so that ordinary people like you and me could go to Heaven.
All He Asks You is to Love Him, Your Lord, Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’!!